So there I was on the cold, snowy New York evening doing my first reading at The Tortured Blogger’s Society event.

We had just come back from the first break during which I ordered myself a club soda (and spiked it with a little packet of low dose thc/cbd) and the next round of readers were to begin.

The girl on my right said, “I’m up next”.

I recently learned that I grew up in a dysfunctional household.

By a show of hand’s who else grew up in a dysfunctional household?

(Maybe there was an alcoholic parent. Maybe a codependent one. Maybe one with OCD, rage, or simply a parent who didn’t communicate love or emotions in the way you needed.)

Backstory: What began as an outlet, a blog, a place to share my thoughts evolved into something greater. While I have been quiet on the blog these last 5 years I have been busy living, experiencing, growing and WRITING.

Be Brave, put your best face forward // that’s what the first picture represents, a curated version of self. My best face forward the part of me that doesn’t reflect insecurity and imperfection.

Swipe to the right and notice me putting the same face forward and while I am happy and still that same light the feelings I have when I see my profile bring up insecurity and discomfort; but today I am done! I am not holding onto it anymore, I can’t. I love myself and I need to honor that I am not perfect, that I have been through trauma and I am lucky to no longer live with chronic pain.

Hello my loves! It has been months, actually almost a year since my last post here on this blog. When I began blogging I was a holistic health coach and chef living in NYC. Creating recipes and food styling was what I was living and breathing at the time. I had taken a course on recipe writing and even created multiple e-books and programs.

It took me longer then I imagined to share this post, not in the physical sense, when I was ready to write it all poured out, but emotionally, it was a long road.

For the last 11 years I had the same address and one I was so proud of for many reasons.

At 23 years old with the guidance of my parents I invested in my first home. It was the most perfect studio apartment in Gramercy Park looking over what was once the backyard of Pure Food and Wine. 

I couldn’t have predicted what was to come. I entered into this home with thoughts in my head of a relaxing vacation, a time to decompress, journal, rest and swim in the ocean and watch sunsets. While that was the case for me it became clear that the intention of the other guests in this house was to party. Listen, I have had my share of partying and fun but this was on a level that took me outside of my comfort zone.